Unraveling Trauma: Understanding and Healing Deep Emotional Wounds

Written By Isabella Damiris

In recent times, I've noticed the word "trauma" being used to describe various challenging situations. On one hand, it's encouraging that people are reflecting on their experiences and validating their hardships, instead of resorting to toxic positivity (i.e., ignoring negative feelings) or emotional avoidance (i.e., not wanting to discuss difficult topics). However, the words we use are powerful and it's crucial to talk about mental health accurately. Let's explore what trauma is, its effects, and how therapy can help.

What is considered traumatic?

Trauma involves exposure to actual or threatened death, serious injury, or sexual violence, which can lead to PTSD. This exposure can be direct, witnessed, learned about happening to a loved one, or through repeated exposure to distressing details. Here are some examples, though not exhaustive:

  • Physical violence

  • Sexual violence

  • Verbal violence

  • Car accidents

  • Natural disasters

  • Robbery

  • Military activities

  • Neglect

  • Life-threatening illness

  • Violent death of a loved one

  • Threatened violence

  • Witnessing a violent attack or accident

Other traumatic experiences might not meet PTSD criteria but can still be highly impactful. Examples include:

  • Emotional or psychological violence (e.g., belittling, degrading, and humiliation)

  • Bullying

  • The end of significant relationships

  • Being forced into unwanted actions

  • Parental separation

  • Observing parental substance misuse

  • Lack of nurturance, care, and affection from caregivers

  • Inconsistent or unreliable parenting

  • Failing an important exam

  • Public embarrassment

What are the effects of trauma?

Trauma is subjective; its impact depends on personal interpretation and response. This explains why two people can experience the exact same incident, yet one may experience posttraumatic stress symptoms and the other does not. Trauma affects the nervous system, thoughts, and behaviours. Here are some common posttraumatic stress symptoms:

Nervous system & reactivity changes

  • Increased irritability or anger

  • Constantly feeling on edge

  • Regularly surveilling for danger

  • Being easily startled

  • Difficulty concentrating

  • Disturbed sleep

  • Increased anxiety when reminded of the trauma

Thought changes

  • Avoiding thoughts related to the trauma

  • Difficulty recalling aspects of the trauma

  • Self-blame or blaming others

  • Distressing thoughts or dreams about the event

  • Distrust towards others

Emotional changes

  • Difficulty feeling positive emotions

  • Persistent unpleasant emotions 

Behaviour changes

  • Avoiding reminders of the trauma

  • Reckless or self-destructive behaviour

Each person's response to trauma is unique. Often, these responses are coping mechanisms, which can be healthy or unhealthy. For example, someone who felt abandoned might

  • Choose unavailable partners because it feels familiar

  • Avoid close relationships to prevent future abandonment

  • Be emotionally demanding in relationships

  • React strongly when a partner or friend seeks space

Developing self-awareness about our trauma and its effects helps us live more intentionally and reflectively.

Why does trauma often result in significant mood changes?

Daniel J. Siegel, a clinical professor of psychiatry at UCLA, coined the term "Window of Tolerance." This concept explains that we function best when our emotional and physiological states are within an optimal arousal zone or "window." Everyday activities require us to think, make decisions, socialise, and solve problems, which are easiest within this window.

Outside of the window are Hyperarousal and Hypoarousal states. When we are hyperaroused, we may experience feelings including anxiety, panic, anger, and overwhelm. When we are hypoaroused, we may feel numb, depressed mood, zoned out, or dissociated. Trauma and chronic stress can shrink this window, making it more difficult to respond to daily stress and tasks. 

A great visual representation of this can be found here: https://www.nicabm.com/trauma-how-to-help-your-clients-understand-their-window-of-tolerance/ 

How can therapy help treat trauma?

At Bella Vida Psychology, we use evidence-based therapies like Schema-Informed Therapy, Acceptance-Commitment Therapy, and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy to treat trauma. Here are some common therapy goals and interventions:

  • Therapy Goals:

    • Feel less triggered

    • Build the window of tolerance

    • Heal the nervous system

  • Possible Interventions:

    • Psychoeducation

    • Diaphragmatic breathing

    • Mindfulness

    • Progressive muscle relaxation

    • Safe place imagery

    • Establish an exercise routine 

    • Reduce overstimulation

  • Therapy Goals:

    • Think more positively

    • Reduce self-criticism

    • Reduced maladaptive thinking 

    • Reduce thought suppression

  • Possible Interventions:

    • Identify & challenge or reframe unhelpful thinking patterns

    • Tolerate intrusive thoughts

    • Chair work

  • Therapy Goals:

    • Feel happier

    • Improved mood

    • Reduced avoidance of trauma reminders

  • Possible Interventions:

    • Identify core values

    • Engage in fun activities

    • Gradually face triggering situations with coping strategies 

    • Connecting with inner child

  • Therapy Goal:

    • Build healthy relationships

    • Identifying and change maladaptive relationship patterns

  • Possible Interventions:

    • Identify Early Maladaptive Schema (i.e., ways of thinking, feeling, and behaviour that have resulted from unmet emotional needs)

    • Identify relevant Modes (i.e., ways that we respond to triggers)

    • Challenge maladaptive thinking

    • Establish healthy coping behaviours

    • Chair work

    • Imagery rescripting

  • Therapy Goal:

    • Reduce intrusive memories and thoughts associated with trauma

    • Reduce intrusive symptoms 

  • Possible Interventions:

    • Imagery rescripting (Schema Therapy)

    • Reliving exposure (Cognitive Therapy)

    • Narrative Exposure (Cognitive Therapy)

Ready to Begin Your Healing Journey? Contact Bella Vida Psychology today to learn more about our services or to schedule an appointment. We offer a free, no obligation, 15 minute phone call. Your journey towards improved mental health starts here. Reach out to us now – we're here to help.

Book recommendations

  • The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk.

  • Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find and Keep Love by Amir Levine and Rachel S. F. Heller.

  • Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents by Lindsay Gibson.

  • It Didn’t Start With You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle by Mark Wolynn.

  • Reinventing your life  by Janet S. Klosko and Jeffrey Young.

  • No Bad Parts: Healing Trauma and Restoring Wholeness with the Internal Family Systems Model by Richard C Schwartz.

Resources:

Corrigan, F. M., Fisher, J. J., & Nutt, D. J. (2011). Autonomic dysregulation and the window of tolerance model of the effects of complex emotional trauma. Journal of Psychopharmacology, 25(1), 17–25. https://doi.org/10.1177/0269881109354930

National Institute for the Clinical Application of Behavioral Medicine. (2017). How to Help Your Clients Understand Their Window of Tolerance. NICABM. https://www.nicabm.com/trauma-how-to-help-your-clients-understand-their-window-of-tolerance/

Isabella Damiris
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